Never Outdone in Generosity

I'm back from the retreat! I know I promised at least one post about it, but I have to say, it was so good I might be splitting it into several parts. For now, I just want to start off with what hit me hardest about this weekend, and that is that God is never outdone in generosity. It's one of those platitudes you hear all the time, and you brush it off because someone a lot holier than you is just trying to convince you that God will answer your prayers. It's totally true, though. It was one of the best reminders I got this weekend.

I told all the freshmen this during our reflection discussion this morning, when I got the first email from the president of the Newman Center that they were looking for volunteers to be student leaders of the Freshman Retreat, I jumped at the chance. I think I literally emailed him back four minutes later to tell him that I wanted to be one of them, and this on the heels of bugging him for weeks before that to finally send out the email to see who would be the student leaders. To make sure he knew just how badly I wanted to do it, I would text him every couple of days to see if the decision was made yet as to who the leaders would be. I'm sure he got tired of me asking, but it paid off, because when the email with the names went out, I was one of them. I was ecstatic.

It was that day that I started praying that one freshman would have the same kind of experience on the retreat that I did. I didn't want to be presumptuous or greedy, so I asked God to turn the heart of one freshman the same way He had turned mine. It would have been enough for me if that had happened, too. I still remember feeling so happy, so peaceful, so free and so absolutely exultant that I wanted to be able to share it with everyone, right that instant. I couldn't imagine the possibility of this happening to more than one of them, and I honestly would have been content if that had been the case. However, as we heard in the first reading last week, God's ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Good thing, too, because God would be awfully sleepy right now if they were.

I'm pretty much an early bird, and I adjust fairly well to getting up early, at least I do early in the day. Yesterday was no exception, as I was able to start reading Plutarch for my midterm about fifteen minutes after I woke up, and continued functioning well throughout the day. I stayed up and prayed with the whole group for Adoration and Benediction, and I figured I would tough it out until 11:00, because I wanted to be the last person to Confess before all-night Adoration started. It was not to be, though. Around 10:00, I could feel myself fading fast, so I decided I would take a half hour power nap and come back when our chaplain was almost done with Confessions. Fortunately, this was not to be, either.

About 10:15, I heard a girls voice from the living room saying "Oh my gosh, you guys, I just found Jesus! I need to call my mom and my dad, and like everyone I know!" I did want to sleep a little longer, I admit, but that was God saying to me "Get your lazy tukus out of bed, because you have more important things to be doing right now." I went out into the living room, and sure enough, there was the jubilant girl who had just Confessed, gushing about how free and happy and forgiven she felt for the first time in her life. They were almost exactly the same words I said (though through much heavier crying) last year. My heart leaped within me for joy at that moment, much the same way John the Baptist leaped for joy in his mother's womb when she heard Mary's greeting. I was thrilled beyond words that God had answered my prayers; He had touched one freshman's heart the way He touched mine last year. Little did I know that that would only be the beginning.

For the next two and a half hours, I sat in the living room, talking to all the freshmen who had yet to Confess, answering questions with the other student leader, and seeing that so many of them not only wanted to Confess, but they were excited about it. To give a little context, I was scared out of my mind before I went in, and though I know many of them were nervous, they were much more hopeful than I was. It was a true blessing to be able to see and talk to them as they prepared for such a beautiful encounter with Christ. Many came out crying happily, and the other sophomores and I formed a little hugging receiving line for them before and after to let them know how happy we were for them, and how proud of them we were for even going in. Confessions went an hour and a half past schedule, and it was the best delay we had all night.

All of this, aside from making me positively giddy, magnified God's greatness and generosity to His beloved sinners. You'll recall that I asked for one freshman. Just one. I didn't want to overdo it by asking for more than God might be willing to grant. However, I was thinking like a human. If I, being imperfect in love and generosity, had been asked for the gift of changing one person's heart, I would take great care in selecting that one person, but I would only have chosen one. God, in His infinite and perfect glory, heard my prayer, and blessed our entire group, not with one change of heart, but with at least half a dozen (and there were only 17 freshmen). He was asked to change one person's heart, to touch only one person's life, and He gave us all more grace than I daresay any of us would ever have dared to ask of Him.

I'm still riding that joyous high, and I cannot tell you how happy I am. Our chaplain told me in Confession last year that all of Heaven was throwing me a party because I had come home at long last. All I can say is, Heaven must have been overbooked with parties last night, because God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, and He is never outdone in generosity.