I'm procrastinating this afternoon, as I have no desire to complete a seemingly impossible assignment for one of my History classes, so here I am to address you all. I love reading other Catholic blogs, and one in particular is the blog of Msgr. Charles Pope, who always seems to have reasonable things to say and writes in a style that is easily accessible to many different kinds of readers. Today's post is about delaying marriage and the perfect as the enemy of the good. This message strikes a chord with me especially since I am a perfectionist, and my mother always used to tell me that I shouldn't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Sometimes good is good enough, and I needed to be told occasionally to let go of my dreams of perfection so that a particular task could be accomplished.
I was reminded of this topic last night during a discussion with two male friends about falling in love. I mentioned to them that I dislike songs with cynical lyrics because they take such a dim and hopeless view of love and life. I told them that I want falling in love to be thrilling and scary and fulfilling, to which one of them replied that I've been watching to many romantic comedies and that I should take my head out of the clouds. I countered with the assertion that I do not suffer from the delusion that some mythical Prince Charming will ride in on his white horse and sweep me off my feet and carry me into the sunset. What I mean when I say that I want falling in love to be those things is that I want to be excited to give myself to another person, that I want to know that in making myself vulnerable to him, I am entering into communion with him, that I'm having the experience as it's meant to happen.
I know that I don't know from experience how these things are "meant to happen", but I think I have a good enough idea to work off of from the examples of the dating/married women I know. However, this idea has been a long time coming, as I have taken the customary way too long period of letting my idea of a perfect man be the enemy of the good men who actually exist. I don't have any romantic prospects now, but that hasn't stopped me in the past from dreaming up the perfect man for myself. It's only recently, as I begin the first stages of vocational discernment that I've started trying to curb my perfectionism in favor of a more realistic idea of how my life could go.
Most of this change is due to a wonderful group of women I was introduced to on facebook this summer, CathSorority. I am (to my knowledge) the second youngest woman in the group, so I've had ample opportunity to learn about the struggles of real life women and men to live their call to marriage (and one woman's call to the religious life). In a way, I've been blessed to see some of what Christian dating and marriage actually look like, made to work by imperfect people the best way they know how. These women have given me a real inside look on the routine and not-so-routine hardships of life, and thus, a better, more realistic idea of what my life could look like in the future.
That's not to say that all they experience is hardship, for certainly they've had their share of joyful moments as well as hard ones. At least three or four women have welcomed new children, a few have gotten new jobs, and some are approaching their weddings with growing excitement. The reason that I look forward to my future and hopefully falling in love, though, is because I've seen these women talk about and live their loves with their husbands and children. I know what they've experienced, good and bad, and I look forward to my future life that much more because it sounds like true happiness, even though there are scares and struggles along the path. They have not let the perfect be the enemy of the good, and to me, that looks so much more fulfilling than whatever form perfect takes in my head or heart. It reflects God's plan for them, and as my spiritual director likes to say, whatever God calls you to will be your happiness. I look forward to my happiness, no matter what God determines that will be, or with whom; perfect or not.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Joy and Exaltation
Good Sunday Morning! I hope you're all doing well since last I posted (I'll assume you are, since I probably see most of you lovely readers a few times a week). I find it tough to write very much when I come back after a long time away from here, so this post will be short and sweet, but full of happiness and excitement about Jesus. Sound good? Great! On we go.
So, as a junior in college now, I know I should be looking for jobs that will actually add something to my resume other than words, but I do not have one of those jobs this semester. Instead, I've taken a job at the university's Hillel (Jewish student center, for those who don't know) heating, serving, and cleaning up food for the Shabbas dinner on Friday nights. It's not a particularly labor intensive job, and the students seem to appreciate the Shabbas goys (non-Jews who do our job) being there for them. You might wonder, then (or I'm going to assume you might wonder), why I took the job if it doesn't do anything for my resume and it eats up five hours of my Friday nights. The short answer is that I think it's cool. The long answer is that already I've learned about the Jewish tradition, and been able to observe people my own age living out their faith in a serious way. Also, they encourage me to eat and take leftovers home, and I don't know of anyone else who gets paid to do almost nothing, gain interesting knowledge, and eat for free.
Speaking of Friday and tradition, this past Friday was the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross, and one of the most awesome feasts on the liturgical calendar. I didn't know it until I came to college, but I've loved this weekend in September for a long time, and that is tied to my love for a particular hymn, "Lift High the Cross". When I was a little girl, I latched onto this hymn as a personal favorite for a reason as yet unknown to me or to anyone else. As I was wont to do then, I memorized the hymn and would sing it or hum it for a few weeks after whichever Sunday was closest to the Feast of the Exaltation. For the past three years since being here in Washington, my father, who always remembers to send little things to cheer me up, has sent me an email with the music for the hymn attached whenever his parish's choir sings it at Mass. I received that email this morning, and played the hymn as I always do, and I realized for a second that I'd forgotten how much I like it, especially now being a particular devotee of the Cross.
I guess it's weeks like this when I'm truly thankful for being here at my school, where I'm constantly learning about the world, my faith, and myself. I forget occasionally how good God is to me, and then He goes and reveals it in the start of Adoration, a job learning about His chosen people as predecessors to His covenant with all people, and the simple joy of a little music telling of His goodness. It's a good morning indeed when I can look around and behold God in everything I see.
So, as a junior in college now, I know I should be looking for jobs that will actually add something to my resume other than words, but I do not have one of those jobs this semester. Instead, I've taken a job at the university's Hillel (Jewish student center, for those who don't know) heating, serving, and cleaning up food for the Shabbas dinner on Friday nights. It's not a particularly labor intensive job, and the students seem to appreciate the Shabbas goys (non-Jews who do our job) being there for them. You might wonder, then (or I'm going to assume you might wonder), why I took the job if it doesn't do anything for my resume and it eats up five hours of my Friday nights. The short answer is that I think it's cool. The long answer is that already I've learned about the Jewish tradition, and been able to observe people my own age living out their faith in a serious way. Also, they encourage me to eat and take leftovers home, and I don't know of anyone else who gets paid to do almost nothing, gain interesting knowledge, and eat for free.
Speaking of Friday and tradition, this past Friday was the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross, and one of the most awesome feasts on the liturgical calendar. I didn't know it until I came to college, but I've loved this weekend in September for a long time, and that is tied to my love for a particular hymn, "Lift High the Cross". When I was a little girl, I latched onto this hymn as a personal favorite for a reason as yet unknown to me or to anyone else. As I was wont to do then, I memorized the hymn and would sing it or hum it for a few weeks after whichever Sunday was closest to the Feast of the Exaltation. For the past three years since being here in Washington, my father, who always remembers to send little things to cheer me up, has sent me an email with the music for the hymn attached whenever his parish's choir sings it at Mass. I received that email this morning, and played the hymn as I always do, and I realized for a second that I'd forgotten how much I like it, especially now being a particular devotee of the Cross.
I guess it's weeks like this when I'm truly thankful for being here at my school, where I'm constantly learning about the world, my faith, and myself. I forget occasionally how good God is to me, and then He goes and reveals it in the start of Adoration, a job learning about His chosen people as predecessors to His covenant with all people, and the simple joy of a little music telling of His goodness. It's a good morning indeed when I can look around and behold God in everything I see.
Here's a little "Lift High the Cross" for you. Fair warning: This version is pretty epic. :)
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