The subject of life has hit me full force this week, and it was pretty astonishing. Loss of life, starting a new life, protecting it, praying for it, seeing it in its various stages. You almost can't help but marvel at what a gift life is. I could try forever to come up with something that accurately expresses the sheer beauty and wonder of life, but for your sakes, I won't. I have to say though, I have never, ever appreciated life more than since coming back to Catholicism, and, one might say, being born again.
One of my favorite lines in any drama has to be from the Reverend John Hale in Arthur Miller's The Crucible. He says to Elizabeth Proctor at the end of the play, "I tell you, woman, life is God's greatest gift, and no principle, however glorious, may justify the taking of it." He was trying to get her to keep her husband John from sacrificing himself for refusing to confess to witchcraft, rather than letting him die for telling the truth that he wasn't a witch. Rebecca ultimately refuses to convince John to lie to save his life, but I have never been able to help thinking that Rev. Hale's words are just as correct as John's refusal to lie to save his life. Both are born of true Christian sentiments, even if not always guided by them.
Another art form which shows us characters not always guided by Christian sentiments or principles is rap, though to the credit of many rappers, and one in particular at the moment, they do occasionally come out with beautiful and inspiring music worthy of the distinction art.The rapper of the moment is Lil' Wayne, and he has just released a beautiful song and video called "How To Love", which honestly made me tear up. I guess after so many years of negativity and being caught up in either the game or the business, a man needs some outlet for the negativity other than anger and vulgarity. So when these songs come out, not only are they the rare gems of the rap industry, but they speak to the truth in every person's heart, and reach outside the rap community because they speak to a universal truth.
I've also been thinking lately about the start of new life, since the Newman Center's freshman retreat is coming up, and that really marked my return to new life in Christ. I'm going this year as a student leader, and I want to be able to give a talk that really communicates the effect of that new life on me, but also to let the freshmen know that they can have it as well. Obviously, leaving oneself open to it is key, but it is there for the taking if you're willing to leave the old life behind. Coming to college is starting a new life in many ways, and so it complements being born to new spiritual life quite well.
Motherhood has also popped up on my radar this week, as I've been exercising my spiritual motherhood muscles, and seeing physical mothers all around me. One of the women who went to daily Mass last year is pregnant now, and I'll be excited to see her and her husband when the baby is born, and obviously to see the new addition to their little family. A woman who also comes to daily Mass had her baby last year, and she brought her in with her husband to see our chaplain, and I cannot get over how beautiful she is. It's always a marvel to see how quickly babies grow and change when you are no longer doing much growing or changing. Also, babies awaken a motherly instinct in me, and so it is a joy to be able to see babies and take care of them, and to imagine even having some of my own one day.
Lastly, protecting life has been on my mind, since it is Friday, the day that our Newman Center traditionally does its Rosary for Life at the abortion clinic on campus. I've also been reflecting on my call to spiritual motherhood, which seems to have manifested itself in aiding others with the big problems that crop up in their lives. I've been doing it since before I hit puberty, and have sporadically been mother to those friends who have needed me. It's a tough job, and I wonder now how I was ever able to do it before I was able to go to God in prayer for help. I take it very seriously, though, with the result that I often find myself weeping for others, or wishing it could be me instead.
I suppose that all of these varied reflections combined point that I was always meant to be a mother in some way. I have always loved children, and I have always given of myself for the love and protection of others. It's part of what John Paul II called the "feminine genius", the particular way in which women nourish all people, reflecting the way in which Mary is mother to all people, at once feminine enough to be a caretaker, and strong and steadfast enough to weather the trials and tribulations of life.
Life is, as Rev. Hale says, God's most precious gift. It is a beautiful, complex, stunning, awesome gift, and I cannot imagine any other thing this side of salvation which could hold a candle to it. I suppose that is what makes the first sentence of the Church's Catechism so powerful in its simple truth: "God, infinitely perfect and blessed in Himself, out of a plan of sheer goodness, freely created man to make him share in His own blessed life." And indeed, what a blessed life it is.
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