Wow, haha, I'm really not keeping up with these like I hoped to. I guess that's really only my fault, but no matter, that just provides time to let the thoughts ferment and form better.
Tuesday: So last night we had my absolute favorite religious sisters on the planet come to give a talk at the Newman Center, and it was great. Two of the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara talked to thirty or so students about the joy of the Cross, and the joy of our many daily crosses. I missed the beginning, unfortunately, but the part I heard was chiefly about how to bear the crosses we encounter every day, and how to handle them. The sisters also shared the struggles of their own daily lives, from being cursed out for wearing the habit (a rare occurrence, thankfully) to being annoyed by the personalities of some of the sisters they live with, to being assigned jobs that they absolutely hate. The easy way to deal with such matters, they informed us, was to complain about or avoid them. We could choose to do them, and thus learn how to handle bigger issues in the future, but I personally got the sense that even just doing something or enduring a trial for the sake of the thing itself was not the point.
I have observed in these two particular sisters some of the stresses of their daily lives, and some of their worries involving their families, their missions, and even just getting back to the convent in time for Evening and Night Prayer for the Liturgy of the Hours. They don't just bear their crosses like any old person would, they bear them joyfully, as if there was nothing they would prefer to this instance, because it gives them the opportunity to grow in grace and prayer. They did stress this to us briefly, but I wonder how many people took that away. We shouldn't just be enduring tough situations and then saying, "Phew! Glad that's over", but we should embrace these situations as chances to grow in Christ and learn to love Him more.
I know that's a tall order, and I'll be the first to admit that most of the time I fail, even when I try not to, but I think it's also a better way to view suffering, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. There is some grace and happiness in being able to suffer joyfully for others, rather than lamenting our own frustration or sadness. There is something to be said for not running from those things we dislike or that scare us, but for facing them for the love of God and neighbor. I will certainly miss the joy and hope the sisters brought to my life when I go home, but their lessons will hopefully be preparation for the long summer I have ahead of me, and who knows? Maybe this will be the most fun I'll have had suffering in my entire life.
Wednesday: Ah Wednesday, my favorite day of the week. Not only hump day, but Adoration day! Each Wednesday I spend half an hour (sometimes more) in Eucharistic Adoration, and I love it tremendously. I was introduced to the practice in my senior year of high school, but I didn't truly understand it until this year, when I learned what it really was and had the faith that made it real to me. One of my roommates came with me at the beginning of the semester, and told me it was nothing special, which is exactly what I would have said a year ago, but now it is the highlight of my week, albeit a rather short highlight.
Adoration is my time to really talk honestly with God about what's going on in my life, and really to have out all my problems. Lately I've been doing mostly spiritual reading in Adoration, and thus a lot more listening to God than talking to Him. I consider this a vast improvement for my prayer life, in part because many times my attitude with prayer is, "Hey listen up, God, I gotta talk to You", as opposed to "Speak Lord, Your servant is listening". This was a lesson I learned from an older friend who saw his faith really take off when he made a conscious decision to listen to God rather than to talk at Him, and I have to say that the experience has also rung true for me.
This is probably one of my most regular wonder and awe moments, when I get to come face-to-face with God and talk to Him. I feel like a small child each time I recall that God Himself has deigned to come into the little chapel where I meet Him, and talk to me about anything in my life that I need to talk about. He doesn't remind me that He's on a schedule or that other problems are really more important just then, He lets me pour my heart out to Him, and He gives me the strength, grace and insight to get through my problems.
I think if I have any problems with Adoration, it's that if God isn't right in front of me, I forget that He's there to help. It is an aspect of my faith that I need to work on, remembering that Jesus said to His apostles, and indeed, to every one of His followers, "Behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age" in Matthew 28:20 (NRSV). It is most often when I don't see Him that God is using me or talking to me, so maybe starting with the Easter season, I will try to see God everywhere I don't see Him in order to appreciate being able to adore Him in person.
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