Okay, so perhaps this title doesn't seem fitting for today, but it did fit (somewhat) on Friday, and it fits for the experiences and discoveries I've had and made since then. On Friday, I (Finally!) finished St. Louis de Montfort's Consecration to Mary, and it was amazing! I was antsy the night before, and the entire morning as I waited for the clock to tick ever so slowly toward Confession, then Mass, then the moment when I could start writing out the Act of Consecration which would mean I was entirely a slave of Jesus through Mary. My school's chaplain was interested to hear how I found the experience, and how I felt about finally being able to finish it for the first time. He also found out why I was doing it (something I suppose he wondered, but probably didn't want to ask), and the whole of it revolves around one line in St. Louis' prayer to Jesus. Right in the middle, he says, "Would that everyone might know that I should already be damned were it not for Mary!" This essentially sums up how I feel about the Blessed Mother. She brought me back to God through the Rosary, and on Friday we celebrated God coming to us through her "Yes", so for me, doing the Consecration was really a debt of gratitude to Mary for her kindness and God's mercy through her.
I explained all this to the chaplain during my Confession, and he seemed to appreciate that sentiment especially. He, as I've mentioned previously, has also done this Consecration, and he credits his becoming a priest to it. He seemed miffed when he noticed that I had started it and not told him about it, and I think he may have been concerned about my doing it, since my return to the faith was so recent. However, I think he also came to terms with my decision to do it, mostly because he could tell that the feelings behind it were genuine, and because he knows that often when I get something into my head, it's more trouble than it's worth to attempt to dissuade me.
I ended up completing the Act of Consecration alone, in the silence of the chapel, and I had a feeling that that was how it was meant to be done. This wasn't really a moment which I was meant to share with anyone but God and His mother, and it was a moment of quiet, contented peace. It was beautiful to me to know that I now had some other bond with God. Not just the special bond that God has with each of His children, but a bond that meant that I wanted to seek him out in a way that was special to me.
*Post Script: Now that I've been consecrated for almost a month, I have to say, it's a difficult life to live out, but I haven't once questioned my decision to do it. I've been reading up on Mary quite a bit recently, and I think I appreciate her even more now. Of course, it helps to know so many religious and lay people who have an intense love for her, and who support me in my efforts to grow closer to God through her. I highly recommend this Consecration to anyone formed enough in their faith to make it, and the writings of St. Louis de Montfort to anyone who desires a deeper understanding of Jesus or Mary!
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