I'm sitting here in my school's Newman Center with one of my friends, eagerly awaiting the Easter Vigil and my chance to truly celebrate Christ's resurrection for the first time in four years, and I wonder what I've gained from this Holy Week. I guess I could argue that I've learned quite a bit, and that I haven't learned much at all. I want to say that it's the former, and so I'm going to try to argue that.
Just as the devil torments Jesus' followers all throughout Holy Week, he came after me this week as well. I have had to contend with the recurrence of habitual sin that has plagued me for a while, problems with my friends, and struggles with actually trying to learn things to share here. Then as I watched the catechumens being baptized/received into full communion/confirmed, I realized that this is what I've learned: through all my struggles this week and this year, I really do love being Catholic, and I want to be able to share it with everyone.
As each person stood on the altar, I wondered if they too felt the weight of the enormous gift they were being given. I was also a little jealous of them, because when I received each of the Sacraments they did, I didn't appreciate them. They were nice ceremonies I endured for my parents' sake, so they could take pictures and have a big dinner, and maybe one day see me married in the Church. Now, however, I look back and wish someone had taught me what big moments these were, and that they weren't meant for my parents, they were meant for me.
I hope the catechumens knew that, and if I could have shouted and whistled my congratulations to them in church, I would have, just to show them how happy I was for them and how lucky they were to desire the fullness of these gifts of the Church and the Holy Spirit. I suspect their lives, however long there is left of them, won't be quite the same from here on out, and I wish them the best of luck, because I know that trying to live a truly Catholic life isn't easy, but it is the most wonderful, rewarding experience to have. The food is good, God is glorious, awesome, (insert other amazingly positive adjective here), and there's no celebration like a Catholic celebration, at once full of rich symbolism and tremendous joy.
Being able to celebrate this first Easter in the Church, but really in the Church, will be glorious, and I will be sure to thank God every day for His gifts of life and the Catholic faith. It's these types of moments that make me mind less when my friends make fun of me by saying I'm destined to become a nun. :)
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