Happy Holy Week, everyone! This time last year, I was dreaming up half a dozen reflections for each of the days of Holy Week, and while I considered doing that again this year, I have decided not to. However, you should all be very excited because there is going to be a guest post soon from one of my friends who graduated last year from the same university I currently attend. She will be addressing the issue of discerning God's will for your life in areas that are not necessarily your vocation (i.e. priesthood, religious life, married life). It will be terrific, and I hope you'll look forward to it as much as I am now.
Today I would like to address difficult truths. I will mainly be talking about those truths that are difficult for me, but I want to urge you to consider which truths are difficult for you. For me, as you might have read before, they pertain to my appearance, my voice, and the way others perceive me. They sound shallow, I admit, but are nevertheless important to me. Having never heard growing up that I was pretty, never received any encouragement to be feminine, and being told that I did not have a pleasant singing voice, I had no cause to believe any of that when those things began to matter to me as a young woman.
I have been discussing these issues with my spiritual director over the past few months within a larger context, as I've been slowly coming out of my spiritual dryness and looking to other spiritual matters. In the midst of our discussions, I had mentioned a young man I thought there might have been potential with, and my spiritual director encouraged me to cautiously and prudently look into the matter more. Over that time, I noticed that this young man was paying me compliments, and not just the ones I'm used to receiving. I hear remarks about my intelligence, public reading/speaking, athleticism, etc. often enough that I believe those things about myself, but suddenly I was also being told that I'm pretty, feminine, and have a nice singing voice. Unfortunately for my emotional chastity, these compliments contributed to my feelings for him, though he wasn't giving me any encouragement.
When I told my spiritual director this, he remarked that it did not seem that my feelings were being reciprocated, but quickly followed up with a comment that I was missing something much more important. If indeed this young man did not like me back, that gave his compliments a great deal more weight, because he wasn't saying them to butter me up, he was saying them because he genuinely believed them to be true. I was a little disappointed to be honest, but when I began to think about what my spiritual director had said and mulled over the other compliments I had received from the men in my life, I realized he was right.
I was watching a clip from the movie Tangled that night, and having just had its Catholic imagery explained to me earlier in the day, a much clearer insight into the situation was made known to me. As Rapunzel is sitting in a boat with her beau, she sees hundreds of lanterns floating down around her and becomes delighted because she has wanted to see them up close her entire life. Something drew her to them, even when she was being kept in her tower by the witch who she was raised to call "Mother", but she could never explain what. To be in the middle of them finally was an ecstatic experience, though she never understood they were always meant for her, launched by her parents (the king and queen) each year on her birthday to call her back to them.
This minor digression is only to illustrate more fully what God was making known to me. He had always been trying to convince me of the difficult truths that I was pretty, feminine, and had a nice voice, but I never knew His attempts for what they were. Suddenly I was surrounded by them (or at least, more so than I had ever been), and ecstatic about it, but not realizing that it was all for a greater good. Just as Rapunzel never knew the lanterns she loved were meant to call her home to the love and happiness of her family, so I had not realized that the compliments, which came from a few men I love and respect, were God's way of opening my eyes to truths I never knew. In the same way that Rapunzel's beau could not have known that he was bringing her back home to her mother and father (symbols, I was told, of God the Father and Mary), neither could the men who complimented me have known that they were speaking to me for God, the only one who knew the true value of the words.
God was whispering to me for a long time the difficult truths I didn't believe, but longed to hear. I wanted more than anything to hear and believe those things, but couldn't understand their significance from a distance, so God used someone to move me closer to Him so I could hear His whispers. Though there is no beau in my boat currently, that's fine. I've found something better, something more worth the wait than any relationship. It's not every day that the One who means the most to you tells you all the difficult things you long to hear most about yourself. I'm content to be where I am, and I look forward to discovering how much deeper my understanding of God's love (hopefully) becomes this week, having had a much more personal experience of it so recently. It is no wonder to me that God chose to tell me these difficult truths, but it will never cease being a wonder that He knows me so much better than I do, that He would choose to do so in such a moving and beautiful way. And it is a wonder to me that I ever doubted His love.
In case anyone is interested, the scene I talk about from Tangled is in the song "I See the Light".
Monday, April 2, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The Most Important Choice
In what could have been a bit of shameless self-promotion, a friend of mine graciously suggested that I write about the Annunciation (coincidentally her birthday, as well) since I'm fresh out of ideas for what to write a new post about. She lived in a women's leadership cohort last year, and was one of very few conservative girls in the entire program, and she wasn't shy about it at all. Her suggestion was that I write about the Annunciation examining it by looking at Mary's sacrifice being the mother of God. It's also timely because I finish St. Louis de Montfort's Total Consecration on the Annunciation, and if anyone has something beautiful and profound to say about Mary, it's St. Louis.
I suppose I'd like to start by pointing out that Mary is important. That should be a given, but America is heavily influenced by its majority Protestant Christian background, so perhaps it ought to be established as our jumping-off point. If we accept the premise that God exists and that He was incarnated, it stands to reason that His mother would be an important lady. She wouldn't necessarily have to have been someone important in the place and time in which she lived (i.e. the wife of a king or governor), but by virtue of her role in God's life (and in the Catholic worldview, all of salvation history), she would be important.
Many Protestants eschew this idea because they believe that Catholic veneration of Mary is displaced. They think that Catholics worship Mary in place of or as an equal to God. This is untrue, as St. Louis de Montfort correctly states in his book True Devotion the the Blessed Virgin, "Mary, being a mere creature that has come from the hands of the Most High, is in comparison with his infinite Majesty less than an atom; or rather she is nothing at all, because He is 'He Who Is', consequently that grand Lord, always independent and sufficient to Himself, never had, and has not now an absolute need of the Holy Virgin for the accomplishment of His Will, and for the manifestation of His Glory." Mary is not God, nor is she equal to God, but because God chose to come into the world through her, and showed her all the love and respect due a mother by her child, it is the Catholic belief that we as Christians owe Mary the same filial love and respect.
Protestants further argue against Mary that she was either not free to refuse God when Gabriel announced to her that she would bear God's son, or that if she was free to refuse, God would simply have chosen some other woman to take her place. These arguments, however, respectively negate free will and diminish the plan God ordained for man's salvation. If God created man with free will, then to take it away from Mary, who would suffer more than any person in history, would be exceedingly cruel, an attribute which no Christian ascribes to God. If God had chosen Mary, and she had refused, and He had simply sought some other woman to take her place, how important could any of God's plans really be, that He could simply take another tack on something as important as the redemption of His most beloved creation?
Since we now know why Mary is important, let us move on to the most important choice she ever made. Many women in today's society are fond of saying things like, "my body, my choice", and when it comes to sacrifice, are much more comfortable with the thought of ending a life in their womb than adjusting their own lives to accommodate the one which they have conceived. It is from these mentalities that we have things like partial birth abortion, the HHS mandate, a 10% birthrate for children with Down Syndrome, and ideas like the moral permissibility of killing a newborn because its mother doesn't want it anymore. The concept of self-sacrifice for the good of another is alien, and the will or desires of an individual are more important than the well-being of weak or unpopular entities. "Choice" has become the paramount good, but what if we were to examine Mary's choice? Some women say that the choices they make, though distasteful to some, produce a greater good. What if we were to hold up an example of a similarly difficult and distasteful choice, but one that helped produce the greatest good?
Enter Mary. By all accounts, likely a 14 to 16-year-old virgin in Nazareth, a good Jewish girl betrothed to Joseph, by all accounts a 17 to 21-year-old man, a carpenter, and a good Jewish boy. One day, Mary is visited by an angel, a creature often painted as an adorable cherub, but actually more like the seraphim in Revelation 4:8 "...with six wings, [and] covered with eyes inside and out." So this terrifying creature comes to Mary, greets her in a way that troubles her, and then tells her not to be afraid, because she has found favor with God, and He wants her to bear His son. Totally casual. Then she asks the angel how she will have this child, since she hasn't had sex with a man, and he tells her that the Holy Spirit will come upon her, making her child the Son of God. Did I mention she was a teenage girl? This would have been the scariest thing she could never have imagined happening to her. Then there was the responsibility of raising God. Mary would be responsible for making sure that God knew His Scriptures, that He would be raised well, fed, clothed, and sheltered until He was ready to go out into the world. And since she would have been taught the Scriptures by her parents, she would have known that if her son was to be Israel's messiah, there was a tremendous amount of suffering that was going to be involved in this proposition. She would have to flee with Him shortly after His birth to Egypt to prevent Him being killed. Her child would be tortured and killed later in a brutal way by the Roman government at the behest of His own people. She, of course, would watch this happen, being powerless to stop any of it, seeing her child abandoned by almost all of His friends and followers. Mary knew she would watch her son die for His people one day. And then she said yes.
This will sound like insanity to anyone who is interested in self-preservation. Who in their right mind chooses, after being told by a scary looking thing they're going to be the mother of God, knowing all the pain and suffering that entails, to go ahead and say, "Yes, I will be the mother of God". And not only that, because Mary didn't enter into the Incarnation as God's business partner. What she said was, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." Mary knew that what she was doing was a service, and she was ready to perform that service as a faithful follower of God. Not only does Mary choose to suffer, but she chooses to subject herself to God's will in order to do it.
Why would Mary do this? It makes no sense to the modern mind, or indeed, to most minds, why she would make the decision she did. Mary said yes because she knew that the suffering her son would endure, and by extension, her suffering, would redeem sinners everywhere. Mary knew that for her to choose to enter into that terrible suffering willingly would allow other people the greatest blessing that could ever be known: salvation and union with God in heaven. Mary sacrificed of herself because she knew that something infinitely greater and better than her pains would be achieved through them. Mary knew that the great end that would be achieved was worth the great means of achieving it.
And what did Mary get for her pains? The greatest reward that a person could receive. Not only did Mary get to see her son converting people back to God in front of her eyes, not only did she get to see Him risen on the third day, not only did she get to behold Him ascending gloriously into heaven, and not only did she die in peace and get assumed body and soul into heaven herself, but once there, Mary was made a queen. Mary was made Queen of Heaven and Earth, given the power to dispense and mediate God's graces as she wished, and made sovereign of all creation, second only to God Himself. God glorified her above any other creature, and gave her the greatest and most precious responsibilities there are, allowing her to mediate for us and bring us back to Him, making her our mother as she was His. On earth, she is by far the most beloved of all saints, and rightfully so, because she sacrificed the most. And all that glory and prestige she has been given rested on one big sacrifice, in one little word.
This is all well and good, but how does it apply to you, you might wonder? It applies to you because each day you can choose to follow Mary's example, and make the same sacrifices she did. You may not be asked to bear the Son of God, but your sacrifices can still bring great good out of suffering. It is difficult to fathom making this choice in a culture that is so averse to even the slightest discomfort, but choosing to suffer for the sake of another can be not only a great good for us who bear the load, but for the ones for whom we sacrifice. We have forgotten that suffering can have a purpose, that it can be good, and so in our desire to avoid suffering, we have started to cause others pain, and to do evil. We can come back from that, though, through imitating our Blessed Mother in her love and self-sacrifice. We can bring people to Jesus through Mary.
I suppose I'd like to start by pointing out that Mary is important. That should be a given, but America is heavily influenced by its majority Protestant Christian background, so perhaps it ought to be established as our jumping-off point. If we accept the premise that God exists and that He was incarnated, it stands to reason that His mother would be an important lady. She wouldn't necessarily have to have been someone important in the place and time in which she lived (i.e. the wife of a king or governor), but by virtue of her role in God's life (and in the Catholic worldview, all of salvation history), she would be important.
Many Protestants eschew this idea because they believe that Catholic veneration of Mary is displaced. They think that Catholics worship Mary in place of or as an equal to God. This is untrue, as St. Louis de Montfort correctly states in his book True Devotion the the Blessed Virgin, "Mary, being a mere creature that has come from the hands of the Most High, is in comparison with his infinite Majesty less than an atom; or rather she is nothing at all, because He is 'He Who Is', consequently that grand Lord, always independent and sufficient to Himself, never had, and has not now an absolute need of the Holy Virgin for the accomplishment of His Will, and for the manifestation of His Glory." Mary is not God, nor is she equal to God, but because God chose to come into the world through her, and showed her all the love and respect due a mother by her child, it is the Catholic belief that we as Christians owe Mary the same filial love and respect.
Protestants further argue against Mary that she was either not free to refuse God when Gabriel announced to her that she would bear God's son, or that if she was free to refuse, God would simply have chosen some other woman to take her place. These arguments, however, respectively negate free will and diminish the plan God ordained for man's salvation. If God created man with free will, then to take it away from Mary, who would suffer more than any person in history, would be exceedingly cruel, an attribute which no Christian ascribes to God. If God had chosen Mary, and she had refused, and He had simply sought some other woman to take her place, how important could any of God's plans really be, that He could simply take another tack on something as important as the redemption of His most beloved creation?
Since we now know why Mary is important, let us move on to the most important choice she ever made. Many women in today's society are fond of saying things like, "my body, my choice", and when it comes to sacrifice, are much more comfortable with the thought of ending a life in their womb than adjusting their own lives to accommodate the one which they have conceived. It is from these mentalities that we have things like partial birth abortion, the HHS mandate, a 10% birthrate for children with Down Syndrome, and ideas like the moral permissibility of killing a newborn because its mother doesn't want it anymore. The concept of self-sacrifice for the good of another is alien, and the will or desires of an individual are more important than the well-being of weak or unpopular entities. "Choice" has become the paramount good, but what if we were to examine Mary's choice? Some women say that the choices they make, though distasteful to some, produce a greater good. What if we were to hold up an example of a similarly difficult and distasteful choice, but one that helped produce the greatest good?
Enter Mary. By all accounts, likely a 14 to 16-year-old virgin in Nazareth, a good Jewish girl betrothed to Joseph, by all accounts a 17 to 21-year-old man, a carpenter, and a good Jewish boy. One day, Mary is visited by an angel, a creature often painted as an adorable cherub, but actually more like the seraphim in Revelation 4:8 "...with six wings, [and] covered with eyes inside and out." So this terrifying creature comes to Mary, greets her in a way that troubles her, and then tells her not to be afraid, because she has found favor with God, and He wants her to bear His son. Totally casual. Then she asks the angel how she will have this child, since she hasn't had sex with a man, and he tells her that the Holy Spirit will come upon her, making her child the Son of God. Did I mention she was a teenage girl? This would have been the scariest thing she could never have imagined happening to her. Then there was the responsibility of raising God. Mary would be responsible for making sure that God knew His Scriptures, that He would be raised well, fed, clothed, and sheltered until He was ready to go out into the world. And since she would have been taught the Scriptures by her parents, she would have known that if her son was to be Israel's messiah, there was a tremendous amount of suffering that was going to be involved in this proposition. She would have to flee with Him shortly after His birth to Egypt to prevent Him being killed. Her child would be tortured and killed later in a brutal way by the Roman government at the behest of His own people. She, of course, would watch this happen, being powerless to stop any of it, seeing her child abandoned by almost all of His friends and followers. Mary knew she would watch her son die for His people one day. And then she said yes.
This will sound like insanity to anyone who is interested in self-preservation. Who in their right mind chooses, after being told by a scary looking thing they're going to be the mother of God, knowing all the pain and suffering that entails, to go ahead and say, "Yes, I will be the mother of God". And not only that, because Mary didn't enter into the Incarnation as God's business partner. What she said was, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." Mary knew that what she was doing was a service, and she was ready to perform that service as a faithful follower of God. Not only does Mary choose to suffer, but she chooses to subject herself to God's will in order to do it.
Why would Mary do this? It makes no sense to the modern mind, or indeed, to most minds, why she would make the decision she did. Mary said yes because she knew that the suffering her son would endure, and by extension, her suffering, would redeem sinners everywhere. Mary knew that for her to choose to enter into that terrible suffering willingly would allow other people the greatest blessing that could ever be known: salvation and union with God in heaven. Mary sacrificed of herself because she knew that something infinitely greater and better than her pains would be achieved through them. Mary knew that the great end that would be achieved was worth the great means of achieving it.
And what did Mary get for her pains? The greatest reward that a person could receive. Not only did Mary get to see her son converting people back to God in front of her eyes, not only did she get to see Him risen on the third day, not only did she get to behold Him ascending gloriously into heaven, and not only did she die in peace and get assumed body and soul into heaven herself, but once there, Mary was made a queen. Mary was made Queen of Heaven and Earth, given the power to dispense and mediate God's graces as she wished, and made sovereign of all creation, second only to God Himself. God glorified her above any other creature, and gave her the greatest and most precious responsibilities there are, allowing her to mediate for us and bring us back to Him, making her our mother as she was His. On earth, she is by far the most beloved of all saints, and rightfully so, because she sacrificed the most. And all that glory and prestige she has been given rested on one big sacrifice, in one little word.
This is all well and good, but how does it apply to you, you might wonder? It applies to you because each day you can choose to follow Mary's example, and make the same sacrifices she did. You may not be asked to bear the Son of God, but your sacrifices can still bring great good out of suffering. It is difficult to fathom making this choice in a culture that is so averse to even the slightest discomfort, but choosing to suffer for the sake of another can be not only a great good for us who bear the load, but for the ones for whom we sacrifice. We have forgotten that suffering can have a purpose, that it can be good, and so in our desire to avoid suffering, we have started to cause others pain, and to do evil. We can come back from that, though, through imitating our Blessed Mother in her love and self-sacrifice. We can bring people to Jesus through Mary.
Monday, February 27, 2012
A Reasonable Post About Modesty
As the title suggests, this is going to be a reasonable post about modesty. As an almost-twenty-year-old Catholic woman living in the 21st century in the United States, I have standards of modesty. However, these do not conform to the most radical standards held by traditionalist Catholics or by the university culture in which I live. I do not conform to either, nor do I expect other women to conform to either. I think that there are laudable and ridiculous aspects of each, and I have thus placed myself somewhere in between those extremes. I think modesty is a good thing, and I acknowledge that there are many ways in which it can be achieved.
The reason I'm writing about modesty now is because winter doesn't work the same way here in Washington as it does in Connecticut. Back home, November-March is cold, and nobody is tempted to do silly things like walk around in anything less than a socially acceptable outfit, and a coat. Or if they are, the biting winds make them think better of it. Here, the weather is kind of cold from November to mid-February, and then it gets warm. This is lovely for someone who is accustomed to wearing a winter coat until April, but it does inspire some unfortunate sartorial choices in my peers. Particularly among the ladies, but the gentlemen make some regrettable decisions, as well.
I understand and join with my peers in wanting the cold weather to go away as fast as possible so that I can wear my cutest warm weather outfits. After all, I want to look just as nice as the next girl. I've noticed, though, that in their frantic excitement that the ubiquitous D.C. wind is warm today, the women on my campus start forgetting to put on various articles of clothing, by accident, I'm sure. These are small things, like camisoles and t-shirts, but they make all the difference when I can suddenly see a black undergarment through a sheer blouse, or a fluorescent one through a pointelle sweater. I live on a fairly fashion forward campus, but in their rush to be outside on these increasingly beautiful days (especially for a month like February), some essentials appear to have been forgotten in the dresser drawers or the closet.
Now please understand that I do not hold myself faultless in this area, because I know that I have some questionable hemlines and necklines, and the occasional shirt that could be slightly more opaque, but I do try to dress as modestly as I can. Additionally, I don't expect any other women to conform to my standards of dress, but I do expect them to dress themselves with a little more common sense and self-respect.
On that note, I would like to say that I have scoured the internet for some sensible guidelines for modesty, and only came across one today. Most of the websites out there are Christian-run, and while their intentions are admirable, they tend to either throw verses from the Pauline Epistles at you, or inform you of the opinions of holy men and women who lived in times much different from our own. That, or they like to suggest that you look like one of the women in a Land's End catalogue, which is nice if you're old enough to be wearing Land's End clothing, but on a young woman that's just frumpy. And while I appreciate that St. John Chrysostom or St. Padre Pio had an opinion on they way in which women ought to dress themselves, one of those men lived seventeen centuries ago, and the other, though only half a century ago, in a time that still had significantly less relaxed mores than today's society. This is not to say that I reject any guidelines coming from a pope, male saint, priest, etc., but context does matter, and the farther removed a person is from here and now, the less applicable their advice is likely to be.
Having said this, I absolutely do not accept what passes for acceptable with most of society. I don't like undergarments showing, I'm not a fan of cleavage, and for heaven's sake, cover your rear end! I could very easily turn this into a rant, but that would cause a tremendous amount of misery for you, so I won't. What bothers me about so much of women's fashion right now is that fact that so little of it seems to have been designed with the dignity of the woman wearing it in mind. It looks great on the mannequin, but once you put in on the models it looks a whole lot different. As much as modern feminists want to say that this is freedom of expression, to me it looks much more like slavery to the desires of others. Designers charge a ridiculous amount for clothing that barely covers a woman's body, women want to compete to see who looks the hottest, and it doesn't hurt those men who like to look when a woman decides to show a little more thigh or bare a little more cleavage. That doesn't sound like freedom to me, just a lot of outside pressure deciding what you wear for you.
In my humble opinion, a woman should dress herself in a way that makes her look attractive, but doesn't show off her breasts, butt, etc. You're a woman, everyone knows you have these body parts, they don't need to see them. Your apparel should accentuate your beauty as a daughter of God, which means it should show respect for the same. Now I could throw out a hundred verses, like your body being a temple of the Holy Spirit, an exhortation from almost any epistle, something from Psalms, whatever you like, but on their own these are not convincing to most women. The Church says, and I echo this wholeheartedly, that a woman should dress modestly out of respect for herself, for men, and for God. Don't dress in a way that would tempt another woman to call you a whore, tempt a man to whistle or cat-call at you, or would disrespect the beauty God gave you when He created you. Is it difficult sometimes? Sure it is. Is it worth it to be respected, look good, and stay out of sin? Always.
The reason I'm writing about modesty now is because winter doesn't work the same way here in Washington as it does in Connecticut. Back home, November-March is cold, and nobody is tempted to do silly things like walk around in anything less than a socially acceptable outfit, and a coat. Or if they are, the biting winds make them think better of it. Here, the weather is kind of cold from November to mid-February, and then it gets warm. This is lovely for someone who is accustomed to wearing a winter coat until April, but it does inspire some unfortunate sartorial choices in my peers. Particularly among the ladies, but the gentlemen make some regrettable decisions, as well.
I understand and join with my peers in wanting the cold weather to go away as fast as possible so that I can wear my cutest warm weather outfits. After all, I want to look just as nice as the next girl. I've noticed, though, that in their frantic excitement that the ubiquitous D.C. wind is warm today, the women on my campus start forgetting to put on various articles of clothing, by accident, I'm sure. These are small things, like camisoles and t-shirts, but they make all the difference when I can suddenly see a black undergarment through a sheer blouse, or a fluorescent one through a pointelle sweater. I live on a fairly fashion forward campus, but in their rush to be outside on these increasingly beautiful days (especially for a month like February), some essentials appear to have been forgotten in the dresser drawers or the closet.
Now please understand that I do not hold myself faultless in this area, because I know that I have some questionable hemlines and necklines, and the occasional shirt that could be slightly more opaque, but I do try to dress as modestly as I can. Additionally, I don't expect any other women to conform to my standards of dress, but I do expect them to dress themselves with a little more common sense and self-respect.
On that note, I would like to say that I have scoured the internet for some sensible guidelines for modesty, and only came across one today. Most of the websites out there are Christian-run, and while their intentions are admirable, they tend to either throw verses from the Pauline Epistles at you, or inform you of the opinions of holy men and women who lived in times much different from our own. That, or they like to suggest that you look like one of the women in a Land's End catalogue, which is nice if you're old enough to be wearing Land's End clothing, but on a young woman that's just frumpy. And while I appreciate that St. John Chrysostom or St. Padre Pio had an opinion on they way in which women ought to dress themselves, one of those men lived seventeen centuries ago, and the other, though only half a century ago, in a time that still had significantly less relaxed mores than today's society. This is not to say that I reject any guidelines coming from a pope, male saint, priest, etc., but context does matter, and the farther removed a person is from here and now, the less applicable their advice is likely to be.
Having said this, I absolutely do not accept what passes for acceptable with most of society. I don't like undergarments showing, I'm not a fan of cleavage, and for heaven's sake, cover your rear end! I could very easily turn this into a rant, but that would cause a tremendous amount of misery for you, so I won't. What bothers me about so much of women's fashion right now is that fact that so little of it seems to have been designed with the dignity of the woman wearing it in mind. It looks great on the mannequin, but once you put in on the models it looks a whole lot different. As much as modern feminists want to say that this is freedom of expression, to me it looks much more like slavery to the desires of others. Designers charge a ridiculous amount for clothing that barely covers a woman's body, women want to compete to see who looks the hottest, and it doesn't hurt those men who like to look when a woman decides to show a little more thigh or bare a little more cleavage. That doesn't sound like freedom to me, just a lot of outside pressure deciding what you wear for you.
In my humble opinion, a woman should dress herself in a way that makes her look attractive, but doesn't show off her breasts, butt, etc. You're a woman, everyone knows you have these body parts, they don't need to see them. Your apparel should accentuate your beauty as a daughter of God, which means it should show respect for the same. Now I could throw out a hundred verses, like your body being a temple of the Holy Spirit, an exhortation from almost any epistle, something from Psalms, whatever you like, but on their own these are not convincing to most women. The Church says, and I echo this wholeheartedly, that a woman should dress modestly out of respect for herself, for men, and for God. Don't dress in a way that would tempt another woman to call you a whore, tempt a man to whistle or cat-call at you, or would disrespect the beauty God gave you when He created you. Is it difficult sometimes? Sure it is. Is it worth it to be respected, look good, and stay out of sin? Always.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Austerity
I'm glad that it's Lent now. It's weird, I know. Most people don't like being forced to give something up, and sitting there while other people get to eat/do it, and for the most part neither do I. Last year I loved Lent because it allowed me to willingly cut something out of my life and suffer (inasmuch as foregoing caffeine and chocolate is really suffering) for Christ. This year, with my spiritual dryness, I think of Lent more as being a time for me to be able to cut out what is unnecessary, and try to focus my eyes on God. Because my spiritual life has been austere for a few months, I welcome the opportunity to make the rest of my life austere to match it.
Much like Liesl over at The Spiritual Workout, I have been going through many of the motions of the faith, but none of them feel like they used to. Prayer, Bible study, Mass, Adoration, none of them are remotely similar to last year, and though I have had moments of enlightenment lately (for which I am immensely grateful), I know the dryness has not left me yet. Liesl described the sensations magnificently in her last post, saying:
Much like Liesl over at The Spiritual Workout, I have been going through many of the motions of the faith, but none of them feel like they used to. Prayer, Bible study, Mass, Adoration, none of them are remotely similar to last year, and though I have had moments of enlightenment lately (for which I am immensely grateful), I know the dryness has not left me yet. Liesl described the sensations magnificently in her last post, saying:
When I close my eyes to pray, it's not that it is dark, as if the light has been turned off. It's as if it is entirely empty, like there was never a light there in the first place. Where I once felt God's presence guiding my prayers, I now do not sense any presence at all. It is like there is a void that was once full and over-flowing. Where I used to be able to sit in tranquil silence, waiting to listen to God, the silence is now more noted by a lack of thoughts than a peaceful presence. I used to desire to go to Mass every day - like a girl giddy with love - but I no longer have that intense longing to be in His presence. Where I used to find rest before, the past year has felt as if I've been carrying a heavy burden. No matter how much I try to sit at Christ's feet, I still feel as if I'm begging to be recognized. Most significantly, it doesn't feel as if I have been carrying a cross with Christ, but all of this has felt as if I've been all alone.
As I'm sure you can imagine, these feelings make prayer feel like a tedious labor, rather than a conversation with God. Actually, it feels more like talking to a brick wall than anything. However, I'm glad to have Lent coming when it is, because now the spiritual dryness fits, so to speak. Now is a time when we're supposed to be austere, we're supposed to be giving up comforts and idle pleasures, and in so doing, bringing Christ's passion before ourselves always. I like this because with less clutter and distraction in the rest of my life, what is left but for me to contemplate spiritual things? What is left but for me to take an honest account of myself in this dryness, to accept it as gracefully as possible, and to soldier on?
Spiritual dryness is a very difficult thing to go through. I don't say this because I want pity, but because we were all raised in a world where God is not our fulfillment. Things and people and accomplishments are our fulfillment now, and those are easy to attain and collect. You can buy things and win awards and make friends, and those are supposed to make you happy, but when you enter into a deeper spirituality it is God who makes you happy. That's a good thing, but when you attempt to eschew the world, even in minor ways, and God pulls back from you, what do you have left? You still have things and awards and friends, sure, but where is your happiness? The trouble is when people see that you're not happy, they're at a loss to understand why. With all these things that the world has told you equal happiness, how can you be unhappy? Nothing comforts you because nothing can take God's place. You know where your happiness lies, and it is not in this world.
Lent, then, is the search for true happiness, and temporal austerity makes the heart long that much more for the Source of true happiness. When you take away the world's happiness there is one thing left, and that thing is God. I look forward to stripping my life bare in order to chase after what truly matters most to me- Jesus Christ. I hope that you will do the same. Have a blessed, fruitful Lent, everyone!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Stop the Presses!
I have very exciting news for all of you who know me in real life: I've decided that my Lenten commitment (not sacrifice, that's going to be meat) will be to listen to people earnestly, and hopefully thereby to listen to God earnestly, as well. For those of you who do know me, you'll know that this is going to be a very difficult thing to do, because I never seem to stop talking. Ever. It's a problem, I know.
This comes on the heels of a revelation, two conversations, and a blog post from my favorite blogger at the National Catholic Register. The revelation came on Tuesday, and was, shockingly enough, about love. It was a pretty big moment for me, spiritually and personally, so I rushed from my dorm to see my spiritual director at 10:30 P.M. to tell him. We were both very happy, and when I'd finished telling him all about it, I said, "And now, I don't know what to do with that. I don't know where to go from here." His advice was, "keep listening". He instructed me to let God know I wanted to hear what He had to say next. I asked how the next night, and he told me to go into Adoration and be silent. That didn't seem too hard to do, so I acquiesced.
As a matter of fact, it was very hard to do. For the most part, I have a hard time keeping my mind from wandering when I pray, and especially in Adoration. This time was even worse. I'd talked to one of my friends about my past and how the previous night's revelation had affected me in light of it, and I took all of that into Adoration with me with the result that there weren't two seconds' peace in my head the whole time. I resolved to try again yesterday morning, and no matter how hard I tried, I got the same result: no peace at all. I explained this to one of my friends, and he reminded me that God is not necessarily going to speak to me according to my schedule. I then complained that it would be impossible for me to be listening for God all the time. I would have classes, and schoolwork, and so many other things that if God wouldn't speak to me when I was with Him, then I was likely to have to choose to miss something important to listen to Him.
It was at this point that my friend shushed me and said the magic words, "Well first, you have to shut up." I laughed, but he repeated himself, adding,"If you're trying to talk all the time, you're going to miss what God is trying to tell you altogether. It's hard, but you have to keep trying to be quiet and listen to Him. It will get easier over time, but you have to keep coming back to it." I mulled that over for the rest of the day, and though it was tough to hear, I decided it was sound advice, and I would try to follow it.
As I've thought about the advice more and more last night and this morning (when I tried to listen again in Adoration), the more I think this will be a worthwhile commitment to make for Lent. However, I've decided to widen the scope to people in general because I know that God does not only speak to people in Adoration; He speaks through Scripture, prayer, other people, and sometimes in the odd revelation, like I had on Tuesday. I've decided to listen to everyone because everyone has moments of inspired wisdom, and more practically, they could point me to an enlightening or clarifying source I would not have otherwise considered. And it's a nice thing to do, but who really cares about that?
Hopefully this will be a beneficial commitment to make during Lent, and I know that it's going to take a lot of will power and humility to do. Please pray for me while you enjoy a slight break from my inexhaustible big mouth! I have a feeling I'm going to need all the prayers I can get. But hey, the good news is that everybody gets a word in edgewise now, because Christina is shutting up. :)
This comes on the heels of a revelation, two conversations, and a blog post from my favorite blogger at the National Catholic Register. The revelation came on Tuesday, and was, shockingly enough, about love. It was a pretty big moment for me, spiritually and personally, so I rushed from my dorm to see my spiritual director at 10:30 P.M. to tell him. We were both very happy, and when I'd finished telling him all about it, I said, "And now, I don't know what to do with that. I don't know where to go from here." His advice was, "keep listening". He instructed me to let God know I wanted to hear what He had to say next. I asked how the next night, and he told me to go into Adoration and be silent. That didn't seem too hard to do, so I acquiesced.
As a matter of fact, it was very hard to do. For the most part, I have a hard time keeping my mind from wandering when I pray, and especially in Adoration. This time was even worse. I'd talked to one of my friends about my past and how the previous night's revelation had affected me in light of it, and I took all of that into Adoration with me with the result that there weren't two seconds' peace in my head the whole time. I resolved to try again yesterday morning, and no matter how hard I tried, I got the same result: no peace at all. I explained this to one of my friends, and he reminded me that God is not necessarily going to speak to me according to my schedule. I then complained that it would be impossible for me to be listening for God all the time. I would have classes, and schoolwork, and so many other things that if God wouldn't speak to me when I was with Him, then I was likely to have to choose to miss something important to listen to Him.
It was at this point that my friend shushed me and said the magic words, "Well first, you have to shut up." I laughed, but he repeated himself, adding,"If you're trying to talk all the time, you're going to miss what God is trying to tell you altogether. It's hard, but you have to keep trying to be quiet and listen to Him. It will get easier over time, but you have to keep coming back to it." I mulled that over for the rest of the day, and though it was tough to hear, I decided it was sound advice, and I would try to follow it.
As I've thought about the advice more and more last night and this morning (when I tried to listen again in Adoration), the more I think this will be a worthwhile commitment to make for Lent. However, I've decided to widen the scope to people in general because I know that God does not only speak to people in Adoration; He speaks through Scripture, prayer, other people, and sometimes in the odd revelation, like I had on Tuesday. I've decided to listen to everyone because everyone has moments of inspired wisdom, and more practically, they could point me to an enlightening or clarifying source I would not have otherwise considered. And it's a nice thing to do, but who really cares about that?
Hopefully this will be a beneficial commitment to make during Lent, and I know that it's going to take a lot of will power and humility to do. Please pray for me while you enjoy a slight break from my inexhaustible big mouth! I have a feeling I'm going to need all the prayers I can get. But hey, the good news is that everybody gets a word in edgewise now, because Christina is shutting up. :)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Obligatory Valentine's Day Post!
Hokay, so Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Or if you're one of my guy friends (you know who you are), the feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius is tomorrow. However, I don't think too many people in our culture, and especially on my campus, are going to be thinking about Cyril and Methodius (begging their pardon). Like any 18-22-year-olds with functioning hormones, they're going to be thinking about Valentine's Day, and whatever accompanying meaning that has for them.
For me, Valentine's Day has had a shifting meaning depending on the year. When I was little, everyone gave adorable little valentines to everyone else, and we ate candy and had parties, and life was good. Enter hormones: Valentine's Day is suddenly the biggest mass-produced crock in the universe, which only self-serving men and shallow, moronic women put any store in (yes, I was this harsh and mouthy when my hormones kicked in around the 6th grade). Enter prospective boyfriends: Valentine's Day can't possibly be that bad, it's just a cute, if superficial, way for men and women to say I love you and overdo it on the romance. Enter college: Valentine is actually not on the calendar, so this is officially the feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius. Did you know the Cyrillic alphabet was named after St. Cyril, who composed it? I'm totally not secretly clinging to this so that I can pretend I don't keep wishing for a boyfriend. But this year is different.
This year, I'm going to try to make legitimate peace with Valentine's Day. I have no prospective boyfriend, and I do occasionally wish I wasn't single, but this is not the fault of Hallmark, candy companies, men, or sappy romantic dramas/comedies. Really, it's not anyone's fault, and I'm alright with that. Valentine's Day is cute, and naturally geared toward couples, and so I won't be partaking in many of the time-honored traditions, like candle-lit dinner dates or gift-giving. And that's good, for now. I don't need the accoutrement of love to know it exists, at least not anymore.
I know that as a Catholic woman, I have a unique lover who goes above and beyond for me each and every day of my life. He accepts me for who I am because He made me. He comforts me when I'm sorrowing, and rejoices with me when I'm glad. He is my strength and my song, my light and my salvation, slow to anger and rich in kindness. He is my brother, my father, and my savior. It is He for whom I live my life each day, and I wouldn't change that for a horde of amorous men (I don't know about you, but that's a hilarious mental image for me). God doesn't need to give me a card, a stuffed bear, a dozen flowers, or a box of chocolates to show He loves me. He gave His life for me once, and that is more than enough. When I was younger, the ultimate expression of love was a guy creating a romantic night for me with all of my favorite foods, music, places, etc. Now the ultimate expression of love would be my husband laying down his life for my holiness, a la Ephesians 5:25-27.
I'm not going to use this post to launch into a tirade about everything that's wrong with Valentine's Day and the way our culture celebrates it. That's not to say that there is nothing wrong, but it might sound a little bitter to complain about Valentine's Day the night before as a single woman, and I don't feel particularly bitter at the moment. I will, however, use it to remind anyone reading this blog to raise their standards, because when they do, they tend to improve themselves to be worthy of the person they're looking for. I will also use it to ask anyone who may be stressing about tomorrow to stop. Yes, it's nice to have a beau on Valentine's Day, but it's not necessary. And remember all that stuff I said about God? Yeah, that applies to everybody, guys included.
So tomorrow when I wake up, what will it be? It will of course be Valentine's Day, and the feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius, and Tuesday, and too early, and too busy, and too cold, and about time I read the Communist Manifesto for my 19th Century Europe class. It'll be all of those things. I'll wear a little pink, do my hair, try to survive Latin, and laugh with my friends. It'll be a good day, I'm sure, and I'll try to make the best of it with the people I love, like I do every day.
For me, Valentine's Day has had a shifting meaning depending on the year. When I was little, everyone gave adorable little valentines to everyone else, and we ate candy and had parties, and life was good. Enter hormones: Valentine's Day is suddenly the biggest mass-produced crock in the universe, which only self-serving men and shallow, moronic women put any store in (yes, I was this harsh and mouthy when my hormones kicked in around the 6th grade). Enter prospective boyfriends: Valentine's Day can't possibly be that bad, it's just a cute, if superficial, way for men and women to say I love you and overdo it on the romance. Enter college: Valentine is actually not on the calendar, so this is officially the feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius. Did you know the Cyrillic alphabet was named after St. Cyril, who composed it? I'm totally not secretly clinging to this so that I can pretend I don't keep wishing for a boyfriend. But this year is different.
This year, I'm going to try to make legitimate peace with Valentine's Day. I have no prospective boyfriend, and I do occasionally wish I wasn't single, but this is not the fault of Hallmark, candy companies, men, or sappy romantic dramas/comedies. Really, it's not anyone's fault, and I'm alright with that. Valentine's Day is cute, and naturally geared toward couples, and so I won't be partaking in many of the time-honored traditions, like candle-lit dinner dates or gift-giving. And that's good, for now. I don't need the accoutrement of love to know it exists, at least not anymore.
I know that as a Catholic woman, I have a unique lover who goes above and beyond for me each and every day of my life. He accepts me for who I am because He made me. He comforts me when I'm sorrowing, and rejoices with me when I'm glad. He is my strength and my song, my light and my salvation, slow to anger and rich in kindness. He is my brother, my father, and my savior. It is He for whom I live my life each day, and I wouldn't change that for a horde of amorous men (I don't know about you, but that's a hilarious mental image for me). God doesn't need to give me a card, a stuffed bear, a dozen flowers, or a box of chocolates to show He loves me. He gave His life for me once, and that is more than enough. When I was younger, the ultimate expression of love was a guy creating a romantic night for me with all of my favorite foods, music, places, etc. Now the ultimate expression of love would be my husband laying down his life for my holiness, a la Ephesians 5:25-27.
I'm not going to use this post to launch into a tirade about everything that's wrong with Valentine's Day and the way our culture celebrates it. That's not to say that there is nothing wrong, but it might sound a little bitter to complain about Valentine's Day the night before as a single woman, and I don't feel particularly bitter at the moment. I will, however, use it to remind anyone reading this blog to raise their standards, because when they do, they tend to improve themselves to be worthy of the person they're looking for. I will also use it to ask anyone who may be stressing about tomorrow to stop. Yes, it's nice to have a beau on Valentine's Day, but it's not necessary. And remember all that stuff I said about God? Yeah, that applies to everybody, guys included.
So tomorrow when I wake up, what will it be? It will of course be Valentine's Day, and the feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius, and Tuesday, and too early, and too busy, and too cold, and about time I read the Communist Manifesto for my 19th Century Europe class. It'll be all of those things. I'll wear a little pink, do my hair, try to survive Latin, and laugh with my friends. It'll be a good day, I'm sure, and I'll try to make the best of it with the people I love, like I do every day.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Earth's Communion of Saints
"This world and the world to come are two enemies. We cannot therefore be friends to both; but we must decide which we will forsake and which we will enjoy."
-Pope St. Clement I
Strong words from Pope St. Clement, especially in a day and age when forsaking the world is not only difficult, but derided as backward and nonsensical, especially for those who were raised in it. It is often tempting to look around oneself today and wonder where good people have gone, where are the saints we so desperately need today? I have the answer! If you look around yourself, you'll see them. Or, at least I see them when I do. This is because I am friends with an extraordinary number of living saints, and I could not be more honored to know them.
Recently, a group of Catholics at my university have been vocally opposing the HHS Mandate, and trying to recruit as many people as possible to join us in doing so. It is absolutely astonishing to see the lengths to which they will go to do it. I'm talking kids in social and professional Greek organizations, on sports teams, at the top of their classes, and those with tremendous influence on others putting themselves out there to defend our rights and the Gospel. These are young men and women who know the costs of what they are doing, but love Christ with such steadfastness and strength that they cannot do otherwise. It continually amazes me to see them at work.
Take, for instance, one of our many amazing freshmen. She is the boldest, sweetest, and craziest defender of human life I think any of us knows. If anyone calls into question matters regarding life, she is without fail the first one to stand up and speak out. Some people are inhibited by fears of what others will think of them, but she is not. To her, witnessing Christ to everyone around her is an essential part of the way she lives her life, and she doesn't know how not to do it. She is a brilliant young woman who uses her keen intellect and compassionate heart to argue the truth in love to all people in all situations. I'm sure we will see much more of her stupendous work for the next three and a half years.
Take the Newman Center's president. He is not particularly loud, and nobody would accuse him of being brash or seeking confrontation, but he is astonishingly brave. As the leader of one of the least popular groups on campus, he has taken the initiative to stand up for us publicly and speak out on this mandate. He sent an opinion piece to one of our school's publications, arguing both from a religious and secular standpoint why this mandate should not be allowed to stand. He made several competent and moving points, and he made sure that the article was widely circulated, his name displayed prominently at the bottom. He will not seek unnecessary confrontation, but as a leader and member of the faithful, he will rise to the occasion when it is required of him, and back the rest of us up when we need it.
Then there is our pro-life director. Putting aside the difficulty of being the leading advocate for life as a young man, he is one of the best motivators and best men I know. There is no battle he will not fight if he has to, and he will never ask anyone to do something he will not do himself. Additionally, he is willing to do just about anything, which means he is forever inspiring the lot of us to do more, and challenging us to push our own boundaries for God and the Gospel. When we are feeling weak or despondent, he is there with the perfect motivational words, reminding us how proud he is of us, and how honored he is to serve us as a leader. If there is a better, more upright man to do the job this one does, I cannot imagine where he exists or what he is like.
My final individual example of living saints among my friends is the Newman Center's vice president. Nobody will deny that this extraordinary young woman is about as close to sainthood as a living person can be. Her mere presence among us is both balm in our weakness and strength for the struggles ahead. She inspires us simply by her example, and a lovelier paradigm of faith, hope, and love there is not. Add to that the tremendous amount of suffering she endures each day with quiet patience and perseverance, and it is no wonder that we commonly joke about why she has not already been canonized. I cannot imagine how we would get along if she were not there to provide us with the strength and virtue which she embodies every day of her life.
These examples, of course, are not to diminish all the other living saints I know, who toil long and hard for Christ, and do so joyfully. They never cease to amaze me with the dedication and love they show to their faith, in spite of disapproval from all sides, and the pressures of being a young Catholic adult, especially in college. They don't flinch, they don't back down, and they never stop hoping, praying, or working for the advancement of the Gospel. There is no test or suffering the have not or will not endure, and they show the courage of martyrs each day, inspiring everyone around them to do the same. I love each of them genuinely for what they do and who they are. I cannot imagine my life without their influence, and I cannot imagine my faith without their own.
-Pope St. Clement I
Strong words from Pope St. Clement, especially in a day and age when forsaking the world is not only difficult, but derided as backward and nonsensical, especially for those who were raised in it. It is often tempting to look around oneself today and wonder where good people have gone, where are the saints we so desperately need today? I have the answer! If you look around yourself, you'll see them. Or, at least I see them when I do. This is because I am friends with an extraordinary number of living saints, and I could not be more honored to know them.
Recently, a group of Catholics at my university have been vocally opposing the HHS Mandate, and trying to recruit as many people as possible to join us in doing so. It is absolutely astonishing to see the lengths to which they will go to do it. I'm talking kids in social and professional Greek organizations, on sports teams, at the top of their classes, and those with tremendous influence on others putting themselves out there to defend our rights and the Gospel. These are young men and women who know the costs of what they are doing, but love Christ with such steadfastness and strength that they cannot do otherwise. It continually amazes me to see them at work.
Take, for instance, one of our many amazing freshmen. She is the boldest, sweetest, and craziest defender of human life I think any of us knows. If anyone calls into question matters regarding life, she is without fail the first one to stand up and speak out. Some people are inhibited by fears of what others will think of them, but she is not. To her, witnessing Christ to everyone around her is an essential part of the way she lives her life, and she doesn't know how not to do it. She is a brilliant young woman who uses her keen intellect and compassionate heart to argue the truth in love to all people in all situations. I'm sure we will see much more of her stupendous work for the next three and a half years.
Take the Newman Center's president. He is not particularly loud, and nobody would accuse him of being brash or seeking confrontation, but he is astonishingly brave. As the leader of one of the least popular groups on campus, he has taken the initiative to stand up for us publicly and speak out on this mandate. He sent an opinion piece to one of our school's publications, arguing both from a religious and secular standpoint why this mandate should not be allowed to stand. He made several competent and moving points, and he made sure that the article was widely circulated, his name displayed prominently at the bottom. He will not seek unnecessary confrontation, but as a leader and member of the faithful, he will rise to the occasion when it is required of him, and back the rest of us up when we need it.
Then there is our pro-life director. Putting aside the difficulty of being the leading advocate for life as a young man, he is one of the best motivators and best men I know. There is no battle he will not fight if he has to, and he will never ask anyone to do something he will not do himself. Additionally, he is willing to do just about anything, which means he is forever inspiring the lot of us to do more, and challenging us to push our own boundaries for God and the Gospel. When we are feeling weak or despondent, he is there with the perfect motivational words, reminding us how proud he is of us, and how honored he is to serve us as a leader. If there is a better, more upright man to do the job this one does, I cannot imagine where he exists or what he is like.
My final individual example of living saints among my friends is the Newman Center's vice president. Nobody will deny that this extraordinary young woman is about as close to sainthood as a living person can be. Her mere presence among us is both balm in our weakness and strength for the struggles ahead. She inspires us simply by her example, and a lovelier paradigm of faith, hope, and love there is not. Add to that the tremendous amount of suffering she endures each day with quiet patience and perseverance, and it is no wonder that we commonly joke about why she has not already been canonized. I cannot imagine how we would get along if she were not there to provide us with the strength and virtue which she embodies every day of her life.
These examples, of course, are not to diminish all the other living saints I know, who toil long and hard for Christ, and do so joyfully. They never cease to amaze me with the dedication and love they show to their faith, in spite of disapproval from all sides, and the pressures of being a young Catholic adult, especially in college. They don't flinch, they don't back down, and they never stop hoping, praying, or working for the advancement of the Gospel. There is no test or suffering the have not or will not endure, and they show the courage of martyrs each day, inspiring everyone around them to do the same. I love each of them genuinely for what they do and who they are. I cannot imagine my life without their influence, and I cannot imagine my faith without their own.
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