Stop the Presses!

I have very exciting news for all of you who know me in real life: I've decided that my Lenten commitment (not sacrifice, that's going to be meat) will be to listen to people earnestly, and hopefully thereby to listen to God earnestly, as well. For those of you who do know me, you'll know that this is going to be a very difficult thing to do, because I never seem to stop talking. Ever. It's a problem, I know.

This comes on the heels of a revelation, two conversations, and a blog post from my favorite blogger at the National Catholic Register. The revelation came on Tuesday, and was, shockingly enough, about love. It was a pretty big moment for me, spiritually and personally, so I rushed from my dorm to see my spiritual director at 10:30 P.M. to tell him. We were both very happy, and when I'd finished telling him all about it, I said, "And now, I don't know what to do with that. I don't know where to go from here." His advice was, "keep listening". He instructed me to let God know I wanted to hear what He had to say next. I asked how the next night, and he told me to go into Adoration and be silent. That didn't seem too hard to do, so I acquiesced.

As a matter of fact, it was very hard to do. For the most part, I have a hard time keeping my mind from wandering when I pray, and especially in Adoration. This time was even worse. I'd talked to one of my friends about my past and how the previous night's revelation had affected me in light of it, and I took all of that into Adoration with me with the result that there weren't two seconds' peace in my head the whole time. I resolved to try again yesterday morning, and no matter how hard I tried, I got the same result: no peace at all. I explained this to one of my friends, and he reminded me that God is not necessarily going to speak to me according to my schedule. I then complained that it would be impossible for me to be listening for God all the time. I would have classes, and schoolwork, and so many other things that if God wouldn't speak to me when I was with Him, then I was likely to have to choose to miss something important to listen to Him.

It was at this point that my friend shushed me and said the magic words, "Well first, you have to shut up." I laughed, but he repeated himself, adding,"If you're trying to talk all the time, you're going to miss what God is trying to tell you altogether. It's hard, but you have to keep trying to be quiet and listen to Him. It will get easier over time, but you have to keep coming back to it." I mulled that over for the rest of the day, and though it was tough to hear, I decided it was sound advice, and I would try to follow it.

As I've thought about the advice more and more last night and this morning (when I tried to listen again in Adoration), the more I think this will be a worthwhile commitment to make for Lent. However, I've decided to widen the scope to people in general because I know that God does not only speak to people in Adoration; He speaks through Scripture, prayer, other people, and sometimes in the odd revelation, like I had on Tuesday. I've decided to listen to everyone because everyone has moments of inspired wisdom, and more practically, they could point me to an enlightening or clarifying source I would not have otherwise considered. And it's a nice thing to do, but who really cares about that?

Hopefully this will be a beneficial commitment to make during Lent, and I know that it's going to take a lot of will power and humility to do. Please pray for me while you enjoy a slight break from my inexhaustible big mouth! I have a feeling I'm going to need all the prayers I can get. But hey, the good news is that everybody gets a word in edgewise now, because Christina is shutting up.  :)