Spiritual Dry Spells

I have no idea how to start this post. I think this is about the fifth try at a second sentence, and pathetic as it is, I'm going to keep it this time. Over the past few months I've been going through a spiritual dry spell, much like my fabulous blogger friend Liesl over at The Spiritual Workout wrote about a little while back (I highly recommend reading the blog- she's a better writer than I am, and much less annoying). Although I don't think our spiritual struggles are the same, I've wanted to write about my dry spell for some time, and the strength and courage Liesl showed in person and in writing throughout much of that time has inspired me to try once more to write about mine.

I'm not sure when my dry spell began or why, so I won't bore anyone by forcing them to read my attempts at working that out here, but I do know that it's the second big, nagging issue in my spiritual life. Other than my relationship with my parents, it's the spiritual event (for lack of a better word) that has done the most to color my entire life for the relatively short time it's been going on. It's effected almost all the relationships I have, and without even being aware of it sometimes, I've allowed it to twist me into someone almost completely different. It's the strangest thing, but I occasionally feel like I've become a stranger to myself, and unfortunately I've sort of estranged myself from a lot of the people who would be most likely to support me.

If you were reading the blog earlier this school year, then you know that this was supposed to be the year for me to discern my call to holiness. Clearly I've gotten a little bit sidetracked from that. Heck, last year I almost thought I knew my vocation and now I almost forget that I know the word. This time that was supposed to be set aside for discernment has mostly been a time of slipping backwards, and I'm not pleased about that. On the flip side, it has allowed me to see a ton of growth in other people, and if I couldn't do it, I'm proud of my friends for being able to. I'm glad that somebody was able to advance (several somebodies, in fact), and do so in spectacular fashion.

Thankfully, I think this break has been beneficial for me, spiritually and emotionally. I know that the dry spell might not be over by the time the new semester starts, and even if it is, I'll have a lot of work to do to get myself back to where I was in August and September. A couple of big differences are that this time last year, I had a busy January with the FOCUS Conference and several other events, which transitioned into a hectic February with the beginning of my consecration to Mary and several unpleasant surprises. It's not that those things can't happen again (though I hope some of them don't), but that having had all of them happen once, at least I can be prepared if they do. Also, I've been attempting to grow in discipline on my own, so that hopefully I can keep that going during the semester when I'll likely need it more.

Wow. It's been a long time since I wrote here, and I'm so glad to have finally finished a post again. It wasn't my best, for sure, but it's something. I promise next time will be better, and I'm sorry it took so long for this time to happen. Unless, of course, you were enjoying this break from my insane ramblings, in which case I'm sorry it wasn't longer. If anyone has advice on weathering spiritual struggles, I would love to hear it, and I'm open to more or less anything.

P.S. I'm sorry to everyone who had to put up with me in person this past semester, I promise I'll be trying harder not to be insufferable for this coming one, and thanks for sticking by me, you'll never know how much it means.  :)