Most people don't know that the command that is given the most in the Bible is "Do not be afraid". But considering it is given usually when something important is happening, or regarding a matter of particular weight, it makes sense. When the angel appears to the shepherds to announce Jesus' birth, he tells them not to be afraid. When Jesus calls His apostles and when He rises from the dead, He says "Do not be afraid". In Revelation, when John sees Jesus and falls at his feet, He says to him "Do not be afraid". Clearly this is an important message, or it wouldn't appear so many times. In fact, "Do not be afraid" appears 67 times in the Bible- on average, almost once per book (or more than once, if it's a Protestant version).
This popped into my head because tonight I'm going to be reunited with many of my guy friends here at home when we all visit a friend who's restarted treatment for an inoperable brain tumor. I have a tiny bit of fear of how they'll react because I broke up with one of their number shortly before we all left for school, but that's not the big fear. The big fear is how they'll react to my faith. Having left them all an atheist, and coming back to them a Catholic, I'm not sure how they'll react. But it's more than that. I fought with one of the guys on facebook, and he decided he couldn't be friends with me anymore, and if any of the guys know about that, I'm afraid of how I'll be received.
It's not that I'm afraid of how much of the fight was my fault, because I know how much was my fault, and I accept that. What I'm afraid of is being rejected by these boys to whom I'd grown so close during my senior year and last summer. I know that if it came to a choice for them, there would be no choice at all. I'm not really one of their group, I entered it because I was dating one of them and just happened to become one of the group because I was a cool girlfriend. But as I was worrying my little head off about this, I remembered hearing that "Do not be afraid" is the most frequent command in the Bible.
Having gained an appreciation for the Book of Isaiah this Advent through daily Mass, I think it is fitting that the best citation for my situation is Isaiah 41:10
"...do not fear, for I am with you,
do not be afraid, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." (NRSV)
It's not a promise that I'll be able to convince my friends that I'm not nuts or a bigot, or an assurance that they won't have heard about the fight earlier this year. It's not even hope that the guy I fought with won't be there. But it's all I really need: a reminder that God will be there with me to help me deal with whatever does happen. So I'll meet my friends tonight (whoever braves the snow), and I will do my best to do as God commands: I won't be afraid because God will strengthen me, help me, and uphold me with His victorious right hand. And really, what more could a girl ask for?
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